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  1. T Rajalakshmi
  1. Department of Pathology, St. John’s Medical College, 428, 7th cross, 1st block, Jayanagar, Bangalore 560 011, India;

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    1. For urgent processing: pleeeaase, the boss is breathing down my neck, and I haven’t the faintest clue what this is, save me!

    2. Diffuse mildly enlarged thyroid: I didn’t feel it, the boss did.

    3. Ill defined nodularity in the upper, outer quadrant of the right breast for FNAC: I saw you joblessly loitering in the canteen, so I’m sending some business your way; enjoy the hide and seek!

    4. 22 year old woman with vaginal bleeding every 28 days, to rule out endometrial pathology: now, I am jobless.

    5. FNAC benign, frozen section to rule out malignancy: buddy, I don’t trust you.

    6. Please issue duplicate slides for further management: I still don’t trust you.

    7. 2500 ml of urine from a dipsomaniac, to look for malignant cells: I didn’t know how to discard it.

    8. 5 × 0.5 cm axillary node for FNAC, patient is HIV positive: I don’t have the nerve to biopsy it.

    9. Please look for Helicobacter pylori: the consumer forum president has become flatulent; scopy’s normal, tummy’s no trouble; dig into that haystack, find a needle, and save us all from the ordeal.

    10. Request for a complete necropsy on a patient who died 420 days after an aspirate from a lipomatous swelling on his right little toe: we don’t know why he died, but we’re hoping to pin the blame on you.